There is one huge big difference between the North Pole, etc and this One Point Zero mission:
In those adventures I was going to be alone, taking on the challenges of Nature’s Most Grand Adventure, in the pristine wild wilderness all on my own. ‘You’ the blog follower came along as an observer and supporter, and my goal was well defined, supported by all, and the route to be taken is virtually known. This is so different:
Both ‘Trumped by Nature’ and the broader One Point Zero adventure are more personal for each one of us, as we have to make a personal stance on the goals / issues. They are Society issues, effecting each one of US. (Even “Sorry, No interest in this” is a stance!) Yet One Point Zero’s goal needs ‘all’ of us to want the same thing to enable us to achieve it. Is that a futile, or impossible goal???
I understand the significance of this challenge but therein lies the huge adventure risk, and fears that churn around within!
A set of fears much greater than the one’s of the Solo adventurer, who only had only ‘Nature’s Grand Adventure’, and himself, to deal in achieving ‘His Goal’.
One Point Zero is an ‘Our goal’ situation, and yet the goal hasn’t been openly discussed, let alone agreed!
These fears within me today, having just gone public with One Point Zero, and now 6 hours from stepping on the ship are about:
Maybe unconsidered rejection, passive aggression and ‘confrontational’ reactions. Fears of wrong judgements being made on my assumed, beliefs, values and motives, with respect to this project. A fear of the loneliness associated with maybe being ostracised as a radical outsider in my socio-economic group.
A fear of my maybe wrong decision: To passionately pursuing an unpopular, and/or unappreciated activist cause.
The fear that because I have been on a twelve year, radical ‘solo walkabout’, nobody understands my unique transformation from Capitalist to Explorer to Activist. Nobody can see the value of the resultant ‘unique’ perspectives in helping Mankind’s One Point Zero Challenge….
I’ve read a lot about it, but now I’m starting to experience the dilemma of an Activist, and it’s time to once again be courageous in my alone-ness:
The specifics are all new and real fears, within a total new landscape for me, but it feels right, what I have to do, and I’m using my experience of an adventurer to take on the challenge with that mind-set.
For me, Life is about growing and becoming bigger as a person, and I truly do feel that overcoming these fears, by working through the challenges and unknowns as they come up is where my personal growth lies.
I understand ‘life risk’: The huge decision in 2004 and its totally unknown path is valuable experience, and helping me enormously deal with the fears I layout above and feel today. The fear of taking on the huge unknown and the possibility of life ‘failure’…: It’s easy to just stay in the known groove, with no risk, but I need to be living intensely, experience the full range of our human emotions. Also dealing with the ‘successes’ and ‘failures’ because it’s not about succeeding or failing it’s about the journey to what one believes in. Following lies or other people’s definitions of success, maybe be comfortable with the crowd, but is not living authentically and intensely for me.
In sharing my fears, I’m not asking for you to feel sorry for me, give me special treatment, etc, that’s not me, and that’s not going to work: I’m sharing with you to show you my starting point in all its authenticity as this may help us with this adventure and all its unknowns as we set out together…. Starting with this level of openness we will have a wonderful and rewarding time.
And finally: You may have noticed that I use the word intensely a lot! Well in Nature all I see is creatures living intensely, not striving for just then happiness side of intensity…. Nature’s Grand Adventure taught me that, and more about all this from the ship!